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The Demon Headmaster (Part Three)
Series 1, Episode 3
01x03
Air Date Tuesday January 9, 1996
Previous Demon Headmaster Part 2
Next Demon Headmaster Part 4

Part Three refers to the third and last episode of the first part of the first series.

The next three episodes of series one are based on the second book of the series.

Synopsis Edit

Dinah is forced by the Headmaster to take part in 'Eddy Hair's Great School POO Quiz'. S.P.L.A.T realise that their team must loose, because if the school team wins, the Headmaster will have a whole minute with the camera focussing on him...

...a whole minute to address the nation...

...a whole minute in which he can take control!!!

Full recap Edit

Episode three of the Demon Headmaster begins with Dinah's teacher Mr Venables reading Harvey's sums. Knowing that Dinah did the work, not Harvey, Mr Venables asks Dinah why. She says
"They were Harvey's sums, not mine."
Mr Venables then comments that "There was never any chance Harvey could do those sums. They were set for you to help him, to see if YOU could do them. They were in fact a trap, and you fell straight in. So...Harvey WILL be punished."

Dinah tries to protest against this, as it is not fair on Harvey, because he would be punished if they were NOT done, now he's seemingly going to be punished because they WERE done. Mr Venables snaps that "Fairness is an illusion designed to create disorder!", but then says that Harvey will ONLY be punished if Dinah agrees to cooperate with the Headmaster.

Later, in the SPLAT HQ, Ingrid asks Dinah if she got caught, but Dinah says she can't remember. Lloyd tries to make Dinah remember, but Ian reminds him that she was hypnotised. Then, Dinah removes the Tape Recorder from her pocket, Harvey notices the tape has been rewound back, Lloyd shouts rather angrily at Dinah, that she forgot to switch it on!

However, Dinah says she has something more important to discuss, such as the fact the school will be appearing on the Eddy Hair show. Ian asks "So What?", but Dinah reveals that she HAS to be on it, otherwise Harvey will be punished.

The scene changes, with SPLAT sat around the television, watching the Eddy Hair show. None of them can work out why the Headmaster wants St Campion's school to appear on the show, as the show is all about mess and disorder, which the Headmaster can't stand! Ian reckons it must be to do with the great school quiz, but Ingrid comments that she finds the questions so hard, she can never do them.

Even the Headmaster is watching! He presses record on the video machine, and watches the program with his staff. Eddy asks the first question, which is that he wishes to buy rollerskates for his chickens (Don't ask!!), but 12% of them only have ONE leg, and half the rest of them refuse to wear rollerskates.

Mandy tries to work it out, but thinks its impossible, because he hasn't said how many Chickens he has. Dinah has already worked it out, being the same as the number of chickens! The kid from Manor Park school on screen, gives the same answer as Dinah, which is of course the right answer.

The show goes on, until they get to the end results. The losing team, Eddy gets Susie, his assistant to pour "Gunge" all over the Headmaster of the losing school. Upon watching that, the Headmaster makes a repulsive gesture!

Eddy then turns to the Headmaster of Manor Park school, who now has a whole minute to tell viewers how his school do it! The Headmaster suddenly looks really excited at this idea, when hearing about this. The Manor Park Headmaster explains that Doughnuts are the answer for his school! Dinah suddenly lights up and works out, that if the Headmaster has a minute to talk to viewers, then he can hypnotise all the viewers during that minute! Lloyd tries to tell Dinah to get all the answers wrong, but she can't, not for Harvey's sake! The ONLY way, she reckons, is to stop the Eddy Hair show from coming to the school at all!

The following Friday, a banner is shown being put up on the school gates, advertising the show. Meanwhile in the SPLAT HQ, Dinah forges a sick note, excusing Ian from school due to a "cold". Lloyd asks if Ian has all the equipment that he needs, which Ian does. He then advises Ian to wait in the shed until 9am, once everyone has gone in to school.

A bit later, Ian is waiting at the traffic lights for the Eddy Hair show film crew to arrive. As soon as the first lorry arrives, Ian flags it down, telling the crew that the Headmaster sent him, to advise them to go the back way. The lorry driver lets Ian sit in the front, to give directions. Shortly afterwards, the first lorry ends up by a set of locked gates, which Ian said he will get out and open for the lorries! One of the lorry drivers already feels slightly suspicious about this, as he cannot see a school anywhere, but Ian tells him to go ahead as far as he can, and park. He even comments to his colleague in the lorry "This is a right set up!"

As Ian locks the gates, one of the drivers asks whats going on, but Ian can only apoligise to him. At school, Ingrid mentions to Mandy that she just heard a terrible racket going on in the Headmaster's office, as the TV film crew still haven't arrived! As Ingrid prepares to knock on the staff room door, Ian removes a bottle of cooking oil from a bush. Dinah tells Lloyd that the two main prefects, Jeff and Rose are still around somewhere, but Lloyd puts his ear to the door. He hears the prefects discussing the Masterplan, IE Transport and work camps, and considers calling the police! Dinah reminds Lloyd that if he couldn't make his own mother believe anything, then the police wouldn't believe him either!

Ingrid has managed to round up all the teachers, telling them that the Headmaster has summoned them to the swimming pool for one of Eddy Hair's stunts! Mr Venables barks "Staff at the double!!", telling them to run even faster, and they run into the swimming pool building! Ingrid locks them all in, and as they run inside, the teachers slip on cooking oil, which was spread all over the floor, and fall into the pool!

Ian meanwhile, has finally found Eddy Hair, and attempts to give him another set of alternative directions! However, Eddy takes it that Ian simply wants Eddy's autograph, and claims he cannot read or write! As soon as the traffic light clears, Eddy Hair floors it away, with Ian shouting "BLAST!!"

Harvey meanwhile, is in the school boiler room, and he cuts off the power, then gets Ingrid and Mandy to help him pull out the fuses. Lloyd tells them to hurry up, and bin the fuses, because if they've been thrown away, the film crew cannot do anything. Suddenly Ian arrives, in a bit of a panic, saying that he couldn't stop Eddy, but the film crew have been locked in the allotment. Ingrid wails "Uh oh", as a tall dark shadow appears, Harvey shines a torch, revealing it to be the Headmaster, with Rose and Jeff!

The Headmaster tells SPLAT to put the fuses back immediatly, but Ingrid shouts back at him, telling him he is wicked and evil, and they won't! However, the Headmaster calls all the children along, and asks Rose where the teachers are, she tells the Headmaster they are locked in the swimming pool, having seen Ingrid lock them in. The Headmaster asks Jeff where the prefects are, he answers that they are locked in their room. Harvey turns on the power again, and the Headmaster says he was not sure where the film crew were, until he heard that they were in the allotment! The Headmaster demands that they hand all the keys back, then orders Rose and Jeff to pick them up for him.

Dinah tells the Headmaster that she knows what the Headmaster wants, which is to hypnotise the whole country, to which the Headmaster says he hasn't underestimated Dinah's intelligence! At this point, Dinah says she will get all the answers wrong, but the Headmaster says he is always ahead of the game, and that nothing can stop him.

The Headmaster then tells the children that SPLAT are nothing more than straw dolls, and to go forward to tear them to pieces!! Dinah tries to tell Lucy to stop, but the Headmaster informs her that the children will only listen to him or the prefects. As the attack progresses, Dinah reluctantly decides to co-operate. If Dinah refuses to co-operate, the Headmaster will tell the children to "Destroy the dolls" and then the members of SPLAT will all be killed.

Lloyd thinks the Headmaster is pathetic, going to these extremes just for money, but the Headmaster admits he is not doing it for the money, he is doing it to create order in the country.

As the film crew make last minute preparations, the Headmaster asks if he can bring the children in. Eddy Hair agrees, as long as they don't make any noise, but the Headmaster assures him that they won't make a sound!

With Dinah, Rose and Lucy sitting in the front row, Eddy Hair announces that its time for the great school quiz. The format is ten questions, with the first question for Manor Park school (current reigning champion).

Manor Park school win the first question, worth only one point.
The second question is for the home team, and as Lucy and Rose work out the answer, Dinah looks back at the headmaster, who pulls his glasses off. Dinah then gives the answer...which is the right one.
Eddy is stunned by the fact the children are still silent, despite winning a point, but the Headmaster raises his hand to make the children cheer!

Eddy comments "You've got them trained...its a good job those bossy teachers don't run the country! Nation of robots!!", while the scene shows people watching the program across the UK!

Finally, they get to the last question, with both schools on 9-9.
Eddy woke up once and found that he lost his memory, and could not remember what year it was, so he had to ask a man who was walking past. The man told him to multiply his age by twice his age next birthday, then he'll find the answer. Eddy can't remember Queen Victoria, but he hopes to live to the year 2000.

Both teams begin working it out, Dinah looks forward at Lloyd, who shakes his head.
Eddy offers a clue, which is only worth half a point, but the Headmaster accepts it. The clue is..."Why not ask big brother?"

Lucy immediatly knows the answer...1984!! Dinah, and the rest of SPLAT now look helplessly miserable. As the Headmaster of Manor Park school gets "Gunged", Eddy hair turns to the Headmaster, to tell everyone how his school do it.

As the clock starts, the Headmaster removes his glasses, and starts to hypnotise everyone, including all the viewers watching on TV. Dinah tries resisting the temptation to sleep, while Harvey tries to mouth something to her! Harvey shouts "PULL THE LEVER!!!", while the Headmaster prepares to give instructions, Dinah scrambles over and pulls a huge yellow lever, suddenly spraying the Headmaster with gunge!! EVeryone suddenly starts to cheer really loudly, while Lloyd, Harvey, Ian, Mandy and Ingrid all shout "SPLAT FOREVER!!!"
The Headmaster attempts to command the children to destroy the dolls, but one of Eddy's assistants, dressed as a Panda, tickles him with a feather duster, causing him to sneeze!

Eddy sees this as possibly the most spectacular ending to his show, and he thanks the Headmaster, who now tries to run away, while saying his now immortal catchphrase "Got you Guessing? Thats how I like it!!"

As the SPLAT crowd leave the school, they all discuss how good it was, calling Dinah a star! Ingrid wonders if the Headmaster has gone for good, but just as she says that, the Headmaster suddenly jumps out of a bush, frightening all of the children! The Headmaster says he no longer cares about the school, and that he is now destined for much greater things in the world, he will win next time, and not forgive Dinah! With that, he disappears.

Just outside the Hunters' house, Harvey notices Miss Wilberforce's car parked outside. Inside the house, Mrs Hunter tells Miss Wilberforce how Lloyd and Harvey reacted so badly to Dinah's arrival, just as they arrive inside. Harvey asks Mrs Hunter if she saw Eddy Hair, but she completely forgot about it, due to Miss Wilberforce coming round. Mrs Hunter announces to Dinah and the boys, that Miss Wilberforce has decided that it would be good for everyone, if Dinah went back to the children's home. Lloyd and Harvey, who now like Dinah, disagree with this decision, and ask for Dinah to be officially adopted!

The end.

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